My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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