You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
