that's an acceptable place to lick
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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