dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
