I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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