I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
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