ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Shame - the story of my life.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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