So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
