i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize