My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
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