worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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