WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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