let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
