she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
