Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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