I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
