the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
