You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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