do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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