Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
