she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Randomize
