Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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