I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize