I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize