It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I could fuck to npr.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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