This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
