we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
