I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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