I need help removing her.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize