Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I think I died a long time ago.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
