You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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