just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
