week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
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If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
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There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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