The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
