I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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