This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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