Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
PANTIES FOUND
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