I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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