ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
