Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
