he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
