i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
