Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
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STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?