I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.