That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
