he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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