Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
