bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Help. Why am I so naked?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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