also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
