I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
