I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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