Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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