Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
