ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
