i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
