I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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