as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
zippers are such a cool invention
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
