took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
