We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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