We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
