How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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