Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
