She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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