Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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