Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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