I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
