I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
