That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.