Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?