theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.