before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
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By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
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Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...