C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.