Writing my paper on freud at bar
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.