AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
