Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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