I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
